A Boxaballs
by RevSrVixena
Summary: Sometimes being written about is a compliment but as KiGo find out, what the men in their lives really think of them, it's kind of sick and wrong. Rated M for mature themes and lots of mockery.
1. Sick and Wong

**A Boxaballs**

Sometimes being written about is a compliment but as KiGo find out, what the men in their lives really think of them, it's kind of sick and wrong. Rated M for mature themes and lots of mockery.

 _This story is not for profit. Disney owns everything. Literally. Its just a little ditty a friend and I came up with over breakfast. He's an evil boy._

 **Chapter 1 - Sick and Wrong**

Kim Possible, semi retired teen hero, sat in the kitchen of her family home, drinking a cup of freshly brewed coffee with her mom, Anne. It had been a long time since she had spent any quality alone time with the healer, considering their busy and often clashing schedules. Anne Possible was a woman in demand and Kim was no slouch in that department either.

"So, Kimmie, how is college going now that the mid terms have finished?" asked Anne, stirring in her milk gently while taking in the sight of her tired daughter who had her face cradled in her hands as she slouched across the table.

The younger Possible lowered her head to the table before looking up and her mother. "Ahhh ... Thank goodness they're over. I don't know what possessed me to take extra credits. It's almost been the death of me. I barely slept for a week. Shego is not happy with me for lumping her with everything. She claims I am neglecting her and she's declared I have a lot of making up to do. I don't know what she's complaining about, it's not like she'll let me near the stove normally or that she's not getting any. Once a day is more than enough for most people."

The elder Possible delicately coughed before chuckling in response, the amusement reaching her clear blue eyes. It took a moment for Kim to realize what she had actually just revealed to her mother. Kim could feel her face redden to an atomic flush. She had never spoken to her mother about the intricacies of her relationship or sex life. Before this moment, even though the hero and former villainess were sharing an apartment, the younger redhead tried to downplay the significance. Kim tried to push the flatmate angle for her father's benefit, more than once stating that it was just two women sharing a two-bedroom apartment. She tried to not advertise the fact she and Shego were lovers who shared, one room, one bed and bodily fluids.

Kim looked up at her mother who still appeared amused. "So, how are things with Shego going?"

"Surprisingly well. Around the apartment she's incredibly house proud, tidy and she's really considerate. Even though she complains at every opportunity, and she wouldn't be Shego if she didn't, Shego knows I have been busy and has really tried to make things easier for me. She cooks really nutritious meals, and not counting the final week of midterms, she makes sure I get regular sleep. She also does my laundry and also finds time to support me emotionally in her own snarky way."

Anne paused for a moment before responding. "I'm surprised to hear that. Whenever you were fighting, and even when she accompanies you for family night, she doesn't come across as being house proud, or supportive. She constantly seems... Well annoyed, for want of a better word."

Kim smiled while she considered all that her girlfriend did for her. "Yeah, I learnt early on in our relationship she was nothing like her fighting persona or the face she shows the world. She just doesn't tolerate what she calls idiots very well. That includes her brothers, the Tweebs, Drakken and especially Betty Director." Actually, calling the director of Global Justice an idiot was the understatement of the decade. Kim wished that it were the only way Shego referred to the woman.

"Mom, if you could see what I see, you'd be shocked. I think it's sweet but please don't tell her that. She would never forgive me," said Kim. She knew how much time her girlfriend invested in her public image. For instance, Shego would never consider leaving the house in her favourite well-worn green track pants, that she loved lounging around in. The moment the former villainess left the apartment; her raven locks looked as if they were styled professionally, along with her perfectly applied trademark makeup and black lipstick. The other residents in the building were terrified of the green woman, and that's the way she liked it.

"I doubt it will ever come up in conversation, so I promise never to discuss that with Shego over brainloaf," Anne said with a smile.

"What exactly won't you be discussing with Shego over brainloaf?" demanded an unexpected and somewhat menacing voice from the back door.

"Nothing dear," replied the healer. "Its just a mom and daughter talk. Nothing for you to be concerned with."

The green woman's scowl told Kim that her girlfriend was not impressed with being brushed off. The hero also knew that despite her denials Shego was a little afraid of her mom and would never directly challenge or argue with her. Anne was one of the first people in her corner and the former villainess would always be grateful for the support.

''How are you today, Shego? Not that I'm not happy to see you, but I wasn't expecting to see you today. Kimmie never mentioned that you were dropping by. You seem to only agree to come over because Kimmie drags you over for dinner," Anne said teasing the plasma thrower.

Shego looked a little embarrassed, her face turning an uncharacteristically darker shade of green. She rubbed the back of her head. "Well, I wasn't planning on dropping by but I had to tell Kimmie something and I knew she'd be here."

"Why didn't you call, sweetie?" asked Kim curiously.

"Well... Princess, this isn't something I could tell you over the phone especially with your Nerdlinger's annoying habit of listening in to your calls."

"Shego, you know Wade doesn't do that anymore," replied Kim.

She was exasperated that Shego never trusted her long-standing and reliable teammate. It wasn't as if Wade had a reason to be listening in. She wasn't exactly overrun with missions of late. She chose them very carefully so they could fit in with her schedule. College was a lot harder than high school and that's saying something considering the list of activities Kim had engaged in. Some of her college professors could probably give Bonnie Rockwaller lessons on how to unpleasant. And then there was Kim's super sexy girlfriend who demanded her pound of flesh each and every day. Not that she was complaining. It sure beat a mission or cheerleading in terms of stress relief. In short, she was speaking to Wade less and less as time went on.

"Pumpkin, after what I have to tell you, you might be reconsidering your opinion of that not so little punk, Nerdlinger," said Shego disparagingly.

"What do you mean?" Going on Shego's tone of voice, Kim hoped that Wade hadn't done something that could have gotten him into trouble. He was still a minor and despite his outstanding intelligence, still had an immature and growing brain. No insurance company would give him a discount, which the genius greatly resented.

"I had a bit of a chat with Bob today and let's just say it cleared up a few things for me. You know how Betty has us on that very annoying leash? The one where we are all on parole, are supposed to be good little children and give her all the toys that Global Justice could ever dream of?"

Kim nodded in agreement. How could she forget? Betty Director was never far from their conversations because the one-eyed woman insisted on making the lives of the former villains hell on earth, so to justify them being pardoned post the Lowardian invasion.

The green woman would easily go on a full on rant about the law enforcer without the slightest provocation, and none of it was flattering. As much as Kim tried to reason with her lover, it was the one area of conflict in her relationship, one that made Shego super angry. Her solution was to fry the head of Global Justice and one day Kim believed the green woman would make good her on her threat.

"Well it turns out that a certain blue someone is so preoccupied with a side project. He thinks it is so important that he's given up on his work for Betty in the past month to pursue it, and the boys have been helping him so to speak. Well they have no choice. Apparently any negativity Drakken receives from his little project is met with threats that the boys will sort them out. The boys have to play along. Can you believe the Great Blue Blunder is getting Bob to act as his muscle? Bob? He's another one who couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. Idiot!" Shego growled the last word.

"What has that got to do with Wade?" asked the young redhead.

"Nerdlinger and Stoppable are in on it too," stated Shego matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean?" Kim was totally confused by what the green woman was saying. "In on what exactly?" asked the hero.

"It appears that Drakken, Bob, Becker, Stevens, Stoppable and Nerdlinger have decided to exit the real world, because they can't seem to manage to multitask, that is, juggle a career and a hobby like billions of other people on the planet, to become artists. In this instance, writers."

"What do you mean?" asked Kim. She thought about her best friend's behaviour over the past month.

"Is that why Ron is so preoccupied and almost certain to fail his midterms because of lack of study and focus, and why I haven't heard from Wade?"

"Pretty much," agreed Shego rolling her eyes.

Anne rejoined the conversation at that point. She had been quietly listening to the two women. "What in heavens are they writing?" She picked up her coffee and took a sip while waiting for an answer from Shego.

Kim couldn't read her girlfriend's expression. Shego wasn't displaying the usual repertoire of facial expressions. The young hero wasn't sure if Shego was angry or was simply about to announce the winner of the Darwin Awards.

Shego took a long breath, released it before answering. "Lesbian erotica," was the sheepish reply. After the big build up, Shego now seemed embarrassed to be admitting such thing.

The two Possible women looked at Shego blankly. Kim could not process what her girlfriend was saying. "What do you mean by lesbian erotica?" Kim was hoping that she was still suffering from her midterm tiredness and had misheard.

"Apparently its appallingly bad lesbian erotica but that is not the worst bit. It's about us, Pumpkin. They're writing erotica about OUR sex life, or what their sicko minds think is lesbian erotica."

Kim was stunned. She felt like her brain had exploded at the news but it wasn't as bad as her mother's reaction. The healer's coffee had gone down the wrong way and was coughing profusely. The older redhead's eyes were watering from the experience.

"Are you okay, Anne?" asked a concerned Shego who looked like she was about spring into action if needed.

"I will be, thank you." There was a weak smile from the brain surgeon.

Kim was now feeling anxious. And sick. And angry. How dare they? These men and Wade were all there from the start of her relationship with Shego. They were colleagues and friends. They had all shared victory and defeat, the lair made of cheese, hot chocolate and Snowman Hank. They knew how hard it was for Kim to get the older woman to break down her barriers to admit to the redhead that she had 'liked liked her' and had done so for many years.

When it came to breaking down the green woman's emotional barriers, it was no easy task. Who knew Shego had a strong moral conscious? As she matured, and from the ways Shego had saved her in the past and was almost protective towards her, Kim had gradually realized there was something there between them, a connection that went beyond the professional.

Luckily, Kim was a determined woman. Once she decided she was going to pursue the green woman, she wasn't going to give up her prize so easily. Kim tried many different tactics to reach out to Shego. She was rebuffed time and time again in that sexy flirtatious teasing way that Shego had developed as a defence mechanism.

In the end, Kim decided on the least subtle approach. She was going to seduce her sexy prize. The young hero enlisted the help of Ron, Wade, Drakken and the remaining henchmen, Bob, Becker and Stevens. They all had a role. Ron and Wade provided the cover for overnight stay away from the family home, the black roses, and French champagne. Drakken and the boys had the more important roles. Drakken deliberately annoyed the green woman so much that she agreed to go drinking with the henchmen.

While Shego was out at the nearest shady bar, Kim gained access to her quarters, and arranged the roses and petals throughout the room. When she received the signal that the group was returning to the lair, she disrobed, arranged herself in what she thought was a seductive pose across the bed and waited for her sexy lady.

To say Shego was angry would have been trivializing the situation. They fought instantly, Shego attacking her with a higher than normal degree of aggression. It was hard fighting naked against a full clothed, drunk and openly hostile opponent but in the end Kim got the upper hand and pinned her love to the bed and kissed her with all the passion she could muster. It worked. With the aid of the champagne, they sorted out the issues, sexually and verbally.

It was still Kim's most treasured memory of her life. She was glad she trusted her instincts and the men she considered her friends. And Drakken. Until that moment, that relationship with the blue scientist was a work in progress. Kim decided she would need to reassess it after learning all the facts.

Which brought her to the present moment. How dare these men now cheapen her relationship? What she shared with Shego was loving and passionate. There were real emotions involved. The couple showed each other daily what the other meant. It may have started off as a violent working relationship, but it was transformed into something far meaningful and enjoyable, worth every ounce of effort spent in pursuing the green beauty. And to now hear that could have been cheapened distressed her, especially since the cause of this distress were the very males in their lives who they trusted and liked.

"Shego, please tell me you are joking. What is going on? Why would the boys be doing something like that?" Kim pleaded with her girlfriend.

"From what I can gather, the little perverts have some weird little support group going. They all suddenly seem to think they're great wordsmiths and they help each other compose the stories, give input, critique and pat each other on the back for mediocre writing. It's the blind leading the blind if you ask me.

"At the same time, they are in competition with each other over who has the most popular stories. It's not about quality writing, Pumpkin, but the number of hits, likes and glowing reviews. No one has the cahoonas to say what they're actually thinking or to provide constructive criticism. Frigging sycophants.

"According to Bob, and remember he has to support Drakken or else, the writing is really, really, really bad."

"Oh my," said Anne. Her knuckles were white as she clutched her mug. "Shego, do you know where they are writing this and how many people are reading it?"

"If you subscribe to Super Super Villains' Monthly, you can access the online version. There is a forum where the little girls like to chat, gossip and brag. Somehow they got fixated on me and Princess, and what we got up to in our free time. We are the only lesbians they know and are somehow 'exotic'. They started setting each other challenges and got hyper competitive. The 'erotica' started from there."

"How long has this been going on for?" asked Anne. Her concern was obvious.

"Apparently when Kim was in her senior year of high school, before she was even legal, before we got anywhere near being together or even had a chance of having a normal relationship. You know, me still being a wanted criminal in eleven countries and all," Shego admitted. She did not like to remind the Possible matriarch of her criminal past.

While Kim was disgusted by the news, her mother, and judging by the pained expression on her face, was not faring any better. "Shego, I don't know what I find more disturbing, that this is freely available online or that straight middle age men who are incapable of having a normal loving relationship with a real person are writing this for an audience. For goodness sakes, some of these men know Kimmie, and some have daughters the same age. What are they doing fantasizing, writing and reading pornography about my daughter? It's simply not right."

The healer stopped, lost in her thoughts before continuing, "You too, obviously, Shego, but Kimmie was the minor when this started," said Anne.

"I understand," said Shego before adding, "On the upside, it's currently a closed forum, you know all the 'cool kids' but given the villainous degenerates who subscribe to Super Super Villains' Monthly, that may not be for long."

While she listened to her mother and Shego interact, a thought came to Kim. "How did Ron and Wade get involved in all this? They're not villains."

"Pumpkin, remember when Stoppable turned evil and became Zorpox?" Kim nodded. "For some reason Super Super Villains' Monthly decided to invite Stoppable to subscribe. He accepted and has been a member since. According to Bob, Wade was invited at Stoppable's request. Both have been members for years and are regulars in the forums. Bob reckons at first it was game for them to try and get Drakken to remember Stoppable's name but they got sucked into the boy's club and the whole writing shtick. Bob says it makes them feel important and that's quite addictive for someone with Ron's ego," Shego said with a laugh.

"Are you still a member of this site?" asked the elder Possible.

"Yes, but I don't go on it much. I have never been in the forums though. I've had no reason to. I have my hands full dealing with gossiping man-girls in real life so I never thought the need to chat in a forum in my free time."

"Shego, could you get us into this forum?" asked Anne, the tremor in her voice once again giving away her anxiety. "I'd like to see for myself what they've been up to."

"Sure, I'll give it a whirl. Got a laptop handy?" Anne rose from her seat and headed in the direction of her office to retrieve the device.

Kim was looking at her girlfriend when she saw a wistful expression briefly flash over the lovely face. She reached out and touched a green arm. "Hey sweetie, what are you thinking?"

In response, Shego leaned down and took her girlfriend's lips within her own and kissed her passionately.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?" asked Kim.

"I haven't seen you all day and I wanted to say hello," said Shego before claiming another heated kiss.

Kim could hear a gentle cough behind her. "Shego, I think it's wonderful that you feel comfortable in front of your future mother-in-law, but this is hardly the time," chided Anne who placed the laptop in front of the two women. "Here, do your magic."

Kim watched as the former villainess logged into her Super Super Villains' Monthly account with a darker than usual flush of green on her face. They had never discussed their future plans, let alone marriage. They were taking things as they came, and now it was dealing with recalcitrant little boys.

"How did you find out about all this anyway? Why did Bob tell you?" asked Anne peering over Shego's shoulder as she typed.

"We are well behind Betty's schedule and I couldn't work out why, so I asked Bob. He looked the most out of sorts. He's never been able to hide anything for long from me. After a little coercion, he told me that Drakken is going a little loopier that normal and had to be reigned in. I don't know how he noticed. Blue Boy was acting his usual rambling self to me. Bob reckoned Drakken needed to have his medication intake monitored more thoroughly. Bob's theory is Drakken is skimping on his little pills as it inhibits his creative side. My attitude is as long as it's not the blue pills, I don't care what Drakken is taking."

Kim giggled at her girlfriend's joke. "So what's Ron and Wade's excuse?"

"Hormones? Acceptance? Bragging rights? They're perverts with a closet full of waterproof coats? Your guess is as good as mine. But I tell you now; I'm already planning on getting my own back. You in Princess?" Kim started to answer and then stopped when her mother spoke.

"Girls, before you plan your revenge, let's see what we're facing first. It could all be a misunderstanding." Even when she was upset, the healer was logical and reasonable, thought Kim. She didn't voice her opinion but she secretly agreed with her girlfriend on this one. Revenge was definitely on the cards.

Shego raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow before presenting the laptop to her companions. "Here we are."

The webpage listed names of writers. "How do we find them?" asked Anne.

Shego took out a piece of paper from her pocket and read the contents. "Drakken's handle is 'cocomoo22' and I'm told Stoppable and Wade write together under the handle 'HotRodWang'.

"Oh, look at the comments," said Kim. "There are loads here. Don't these people have anything better to do?"

CUDDLEBUDDY: It needs more romance and perhaps of a touch of penguin and gibbon love. Cuddlebuddy and her Flamingoat signing out.

"That has to be DNAmy. The woman is a fruitcake. What the hell does that even mean?" demanded Shego in a dismissive tone.

Out of all the villains, Kim knew that DNAmy succeeded the most at frustrating the green woman. At least the others were after world domination and power, whereas Amy's motives were less clear.

Kim shrugged. She had no idea. Her interactions with DNAmy were always bizarre. Sharing a love of Cuddle Buddies didn't give her an insight into the mad scientist's brain. What the hell was she even doing on there? The last she had heard, Amy was totally obsessed with Monty Fiske. Why did she care what she and Shego 'did' in bed? It made no sense. But then none of this made sense. Kim looked at another comment on the screen.

BIG STRUDEL: Your best work to date. Pity you can't beat me in the real world. More yah.

"No guesses who that one is. The little demented twerp would be on here. No woman would touch him so he has to get his jollies somewhere else. He must be desperate if he's almost complimenting Drakken," said Shego.

"Princess, you remember when he tried to get into your suit?"

"It's not how I remember it, but we get your point, Shego." Kim said dryly.

"Girls, as fun as pick the villain is, can we get on with it?" asked the healer. The anxiety was really showing in her voice. Kim forgot that her mother had very little exposure to this world. If the elder Possible had any inclining to how this world worked, the Doctors Possible would have wrapped their only daughter in cotton wool and her hero life would have been over before it even began.

"Sure thing, Anne," agreed Shego.

"Okay, mom," said Kim.

Shego's cursor hovered over the 'cocomoo22' and 'HotRodWang' stories. Kim hoped that Shego picked the Ron and Wade story first. She hoped it was a kinder option to begin with, but then what was her bestest friend since Pre-K and the boy genius doing on this website in the first place? It was sick and wrong of them to be thinking of her in this manner. As bad as the entire situation was, Kim dreaded to think what the blue man had written. He was a total loose cannon that never really warmed to her.

Shego clicked the mouse. A page was opening slowly. Here we go, thought Kim.


	2. Lipsticklasersquirts

**A Boxaballs**

Sometimes being written about is a compliment but as KiGo find out, what the men in their lives really think of them, it's kind of sick and wrong. Rated M for mature themes and lots of mockery.

 _This story is not for profit. Disney owns everything. Literally. Its just a little ditty a friend and I came up with over breakfast. He's an evil boy._

 **Chapter 2 - Lipsticklasersquirts**

Shego clicked the mouse and a page opened before the three women. Not knowing what to expect, Kim's heart was racing in anticipation. Even launching herself out of plane for the first time didn't raise her pulse to the level her heart was now pumping blood throughout her body. She could feel it in her ears. Kim grabbed Shego's hand for support. She could feel the older woman's hand squeeze back.

The hero's green eyes greedily skimmed the page of the 'HotRodWang' entry. She didn't fully take in the introduction to the story. Her eyes were desperately searching intently for her name, Shego's name, any reference to red hair, green skin, hero or villain. Anything really that identified her as being central to the story. There seemed to be a lot of waffle but about halfway through the story she found it. This definitely was a story about her and Shego. It said so, right there on the screen.

Kim's first thought was, the little rats. They had actually hidden their own names in order to write smut but had the nerve to use her and Shego's real names. Why didn't they disguise them too? How hard would it have been just to use something as stupid as Red Blaze or Busty Green?

 _Kim Possible burst through the doors chasing the evil villain Shego, whose long black hair sashayed sexily behind her perfectly formed and very squeezable butt. Kim was panting heavily, her pert and young bosoms heaving, trying to keep up. Her usually perfectly fashioned red hair was plastered to her young face. She no longer cared about her appearance. She just wanted to run her hands through those luscious black locks. Kim's black crop top was ripped, a lacy purple bra showing tantalising glimpses of delicious white and supple flesh._

Yeah, that's what I was thinking when I was fighting Shego, I just have to run my hands through her locks, thought Kim. When did Ron learn the word 'sashayed'? Or was that Wade's influence and input? Considering she had not seen either with a book, ever, it was probably Dr Google's suggestion.

The young hero had another thought while reading; she had never worn a lacy purple bra in her life. Until Shego, Kim hadn't even worn a traditional bra. Even today she was not a girl gifted in the breast department. Ron had seen her change for a mission on many occasions. He should have known that. Kim wondered whether changing in front of her best friend was the genesis of his fantasies. She was going to kill him.

Kim looked back at the laptop. Anne and Shego were reading at a faster pace. The story had progressed and she was in some sort of pool filled with jello fighting Shego.

" _Shego, you will never win. Heroes always come out on top."_

" _Is that what you want Kimmie, to come while being on top, because, that can be easily arranged. How do you want this? I can lie back and you can have your way with me. Any. Way. You. Want. Or we can rumble in the hot sticky jello until you can admit you are as wet what I am._

" _It's only a matter of time, Pumpkin, before you admit what you already know and that I'm pretty hot and you're as wet as what I am," said Shego, her voice husky and dead sexy in Kim's ear. Shego nibbled on Kim's earlobe sucking it gently before using that talented long tongue to outline the rim._

Wet? Kim hated that description of a woman's arousal but not as much as moist. It was a small mercy that Ron and Wade did decide to use the former. Both words reminded her of dark and inhospitable caves that were discovered and liberated from bats by big bad virile men.

" _Mmmm... raspberry jello, my favourite. Is your pussy just as tasty?"_

Well obviously, they were in a pool of flavoured jello. Kim shuddered. The consistency of jello would be absolutely revolting, thought the redhead. The disgusting sticky mess would be a nightmare to be swimming in. Even in her limited sexual experience, there were certain areas where food and sex should never mix. To do so, you were just asking for an infection and a trip to the clinic.

The elder Possible must have had a similar thought. Anne Possible physically shuddered before commenting, "Oh my God! Imagine the vaginal micro flora after being submerged in that. You're just asking for thrush." Shego snickered beside her.

Kim's mind went to the other aspect of the scene that bothered her, the word pussy. The redhead was always uncomfortable by the use of the word. She didn't understand how it was bandied around to describe female genitalia. Who in the world used the word pussy in the throes of passion? 'Oh baby, your pussy is so sexy!' Yeah, because that brand of sweet-talking worked to get her in the mood, thought Kim.

If Shego ever referred to her lady parts as a pussy during sex, Kim wouldn't have any second thoughts of kicking the green woman out of the bedroom for the night. Sexual privileges would have been instantly revoked, perhaps even for the week. Women weren't cats, and Kim had great difficulty understanding why the female genitalia were constantly being referred to as one.

Kim's mind was racing as she read on. Somehow the pair of them had gotten out of the jello pool.

 _Kim reached into her pocket and took out her lipstick laser, hoping to use it to make a speedy exit. The jello made it extremely hard to grip. It slipped and fired. The beam of the laser ricocheted and quickly sliced the remaining clothing off her body. The mission outfit was ruined and slid off her body easily. She was as hairless and naked as the day she was born._

 _Shego looked up at her nubile teenage body lustily, like she was some meal ready to be eaten. Her lust filled emerald eyes made Kim's nipples stiffen sharply. Shego brought her head closer, closer to Kim. Kim's body was shaking uncontrollably with anticipation. Shego's mouth easily reached her destination. The black lips sucked hard on the erect, rosy and virgin flesh._

 _Kim moaned. She could not believe how aroused she was becoming, how turned on Shego was making her. The sensations were new and unbelievable. Her movements became wanton. She grabbed Shego's black hair and held her in place._

" _Kimmie, you taste like so sweet, like a ripe cherries. Do you taste as sweet as this everywhere else? Let's find out." Shego continued with her expert ministrations. She had a talented tongue._

 _Shego raised her head so their lips touched, before Shego took control of the young woman's mouth. Kim felt like Shego was eating her alive, her tongue repeatedly snaking into Kim's mouth. It felt so right. My God, this woman could kiss. Kim could feel Shego's hand wander down her body, over her feminine hips. The sensation made her shiver. She could feel Shego's hand hover over her hairless snatch, the long black nails awaiting entry. She was more than ready. She was dripping. That first brush over her clit was heavenly. She could feel a finger enter her._

" _Are you a virgin, Kimmie?"_

 _Kim couldn't speak. She nodded. "Let me go easy on you then."_

 _Shego removed her long fingers and dropped to her knees and planted her face in Kim's sopping pussy._

" _Oh my God," moaned Kim. "Don't stop, Shego, that's amazing." Kim shoved Shego's face right where she needed it._

" _It gets better, Kimmie." Shego stopped licking the hero's folds and looked around for the lipstick laser. Grabbing it quickly, Shego put the laser in her mouth and then penetrated Kim, increasing the speed as Kim was close to climaxing. Shego could feel it when the hero was close. The hero grabbed her harder by her onyx locks and held her firmly in place. Kim screamed out Shego's name just as she squirted all over Shego's face again and again in a constant stream. Shego's face was completely covered and she loved every moment._

 _When she recovered from her third orgasm in a row, Shego spoke, "Mmm ... Kimmie cum and raspberry jello in my hair. How was that Princess? Was it as good for you?"_

" _That was amazing. Thank you. Now your turn." said Kim seductively as she eyed her prey. Kim was about to turn the tables on..._

The roar of laughter brought Kim back to the Possible kitchen. Anne and Shego were both laughing hysterically. Shego was pounding her hand hard on the table. Anne was holding onto a chair for support. Kim had never seen her mother laugh like that.

"God, could they have put in any more clichés? That was really bad. How can Kim taste like cherries after romping in raspberry jello? Or did they want to hammer it home that I took Kim's cherry?" said Shego when she could finally speak. "Baby Kimmie loses her virginity so she can't have an ounce body hair. Heaven forbid she be confused with the Brazilian rainforest pin-up girl from the 70's.

"And what is it with straight men and women with long fingernails in porn? What lesbian in her right mind would have long nails while trying to penetrate their partner? I cringe at the thought. Its worse than going to the doctor for a pap smear." The green woman shuddered.

"Shego, I can't say I have ever had to think about it before, but I guess it could be quite uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as going into see your gynaecologist, 'doctor, doctor, help me quick, my girlfriend tried to use my G-Spot as a nail file'." Kim watched as the elder Possible and the former villainess convulsed before her for many minutes. Shego was hopping on the spot, like she was going to wet herself.

The green woman rubbed the tears away from her face. "That piece of... Whatever that was, was beyond bad. It was as sexy as Drakken's mother," said Shego. The healer gave the green woman a questioning look. "You've met her Anne, come on, you have to agree."

"That's a bit harsh, Shego. She wasn't that bad,"' said Anne. The green woman gave the Possible matriarch a questioning look.

"Okay, she was really that bad, and I think this was worse. How is that last bit even possible? That slippery and penetrating lipstick laser would have either blown off Shego's face or did some damage to Kim's genitals. How did the story Shego even hold on to it for three orgasms and a squirt?

"Come to think of it, who squirts and has multiple orgasms when they're losing their virginity? Kimmie, I know the family motto is 'anything is possible for a Possible' but that is stretching it even for you." The normally restrained good doctor started laughing at her own observations.

The green woman doubled over with laughter at the healer's comments. Anne was just as far gone. Every now and again, Kim could swear she heard her mother say the word squirt and when she did, it would set off Shego for another round of desk pounding and snorting. She had never seen the two most important women in her life behave this way.

Kim wondered about Drakken's story. Would his effort be just as clichéd and tragic? She wondered if the mad scientist would also bring them to tears? Probably, but what sort of tears would they be?

With that she reminded the other two that they were far from finished. "Ladies, as fun as that was, we still have to get to Drakken's efforts," said Kim.

Shego groaned, "Don't remind me, Kimmie. Goodness knows what his sick mind has conjured up."

The plasma thrower took a deep breath. "Okay, let's do this." She clicked the mouse and Drakken's story came into view. The three heads leaned in closer and began reading.

 _Shego entered the room, the cold and almost empty dungeon. It was her favourite room in the entire lair. She was a force to be reckoned with, an imposing presence. Her devotion to her employer was admirable. She put her body on the line for her work. She would do anything for that man. Today was no different._

 _The henchwoman marched up to the single bed located in the centre of the room. On it laid the very annoying and perky cheerleader, Kim Possible. She was tied to the bed securely with cooking twine and couldn't move. The so-called hero was shaking in fear._

"Cooking twine? Who ties someone up with cooking twine," demanded Shego. "Kimmie, could get past the spinning tops of doom and she's being tied to a frigging bed with cooking twine? Moron!" said Shego, spitting out the final insult.

 _Shego was not wearing her usual skin tight latex jumpsuit. Instead she wore something befitting the occasion. The henchwoman adjusted her flowery cotton apron, her full and abundant naked breasts spilling out quite nicely out the sides. She marched purposely to the annoying teen that was now making the bed shake from her fear._

"Kimmie, even if you had a fit on the bed you wouldn't be making the bed shake like that," pointed out the older redhead.

"I know. I think the point is he wants me to be humiliated by what Shego is about to do to me wearing his mama's apron. The very obedient and respectful, Shego, I might add." The green woman met Kim with a sharp jab to the ribs.

 _Before marching up to the bed, Shego adjusted the black rubber washing up gloves. She also had a green plastic spatula and blueberry muffin in hand. She reached out and shoved the muffin into the annoying girl's mouth and who instantly stopped the whimpering. Now, she could continue with her plans to cause the so-called hero pain on behalf of villains of the world over._

"What is it with the kitchen and food references? I know for a fact his mother doesn't wear an apron. I hope Blue Boy's not thinking bondage when he makes his muffins? Frigging freak!" Shego was shouting and pointing at the screen before her.

Anne and Kim giggled at the green woman's running commentary and theatrics. She was not taking Drakken's story well.

 _Shego could feel her excitement growing, pushing out the front of the apron. For once she would win a battle against the annoying pest. Her stiff green nipples glistened like mama's wet grapes..._

This time is was Anne and Kim who howled with laughter. When she was able to speak, Kim said, "Hahaha... He sure loves you and his mother, 'Her stiff nipples glistened like mama's wet grapes'... Hahahahahaha..."

"Enough! I've read enough! This is utterly pathetic and sad!" roared Shego. "Why is anyone even following this crap? He's a middle age virgin who is so attached to his mother that he wouldn't know what a real relationship was, let alone what a sexual relationship was, if it slapped him in the face."

"Is it because you just realised that Drakken has turned you into his mother substitute, flowery cotton apron and all, and is fantasizing about you?" Kim asked her girlfriend teasingly.

"Kimmie...," growled Shego in response. She was clearly not amused by what she had just read and the resultant teasing from the Possible women.

"Hey, at least he likes you, even if you are his mother, but he detests me. He wants me humiliated!" said Kim dryly.

Anne directed the squabbling lovers' attention to the screen, pointing down. "What do you think this means, 'Shego could feel her excitement growing, pushing out the front of the apron?'"

Shego reread the line. A few times. Was Blue Boy actually suggesting... Kim beat her to the punch. "Shego, do you have a penis in this story?"

"I don't know, Kimmie. When I first read it I thought he wanted me to penetrate you with the spatula but I'm not sure now."

Shego's brows furrowed. "I'm going to kill the little bastard. Not only has he turned me into his mother but a futa as well."

The green woman was met with blank stares from the Possible women. "Ah come on, you have to know what futa is." Again, there was nothing from mother and daughter.

"You know the anime thing where a character has both sexual organs, small Barbie waist, big boobs and bigger schlong? No?"

Kim giggled at Shego's description. It sounded familiar but to be honest she rarely listened to Ron when he rambled on about gaming, manga and anime. "I wonder if your schlong has flaming powers like the rest of you. If it did, it would add a new meaning to hot sex."

"Kimmie... You're really pushing it at the moment," snarled Shego who was clearly not happy or comfortable with the turn Drakken's story had taken.

"Let's look at who else has reviewed," suggested Anne trying to defuse the situation occurring before her. "What do you think the chances are we aren't the only ones who are creeped out by this?"

"Slim," replied Shego. "They're not here to be reminded of real life. It's all about their own egos, sicko fantasies and payback."

Kim was unsettled by her girlfriend's answer. She didn't need to know her best friends thought of her as some cheap wanton whore. Nor did she want to get an insight into Drakken's tiny little brain that matched his tiny little hands.

The younger Possible focused on her mother's suggestion. "Good idea, mom," said Kim. She looked down at the screen. "Here's one."

GUEST (WheelieGuy): Who needs video games with quality like this every Friday night?

"Is that Felix?" asked Anne, looking at her daughter curiously.

"It sounds like Felix. I can't believe even Felix is in on this. I thought we were friends."

"Some friend you have there, Princess. Drakken and the boys, I can understand as we are E.V.I.L but you are on your own with your little group. The bad news is if this Felix kid can review as a guest, then the stories are available to more people than we think."

Kim cringed at the news. Could this get any worse?

Anne pointed to another review, "Is that Wade reviewing himself? Who does that?"

SMARTHACKERWHACKER: Great story. Another reason, not to leave the house. Loved the line 'Mmm ... Kimmie cum and raspberry jello in my hair. How was that Princess? Was it as good for you?' LOL.

"Ooooh... Princess, Nerdlinger has problems, you know that don't you?" Kim didn't think that Shego was ever going too warm up to Wade. After today, she wasn't even sure she would be able to forgive him.

Shego interrupted Kim's thoughts. "Is it me or are our brothers reviewing stories about their own sisters. That takes the cake in creepy. I'm going to kill the twins when I get my hands on them." She pointed at the two reviews. Kim leaned in closely to read.

ROCKETBOYS: That's one to warm up the thrusters.

And,

2.5REDGUYS: We want to be that laser. Copy and tap that x2.

Olive green eyes narrowed. Her own brothers were on here? That was beyond unsettling. It bordered on incestuous and Kim felt her skin crawl. She felt disgust towards her brothers, and while she was at it, the Wego's. It was just sick and wrong.

"Mom, look at what the twins have been up to! I told you they were deviants when you and dad weren't home." Kim always felt like her brothers got away with murder, with only a small portion of their crimes being uncovered by her parents.

Anne touched her temples, almost like she was trying to stop a headache. "Kimmie, we don't know for sure it is the twins. I will speak to your father when he gets home and he can deal with them. He can decide if a lecture about respecting women is warranted or if the deep space rockets should be fired up," said Anne obviously not wanting to deal with her unmanageable sons at that moment.

Shego had not been paying attention to the Possible women's conversation. Her focus was on the reviews before her, "Is that Fiske reviewing Stoppable?"

GORILLAZ: You can't write and you can't fight. Why are you wasting your time?

"I thought they hated one another. Or does Monty think he can become the Monkey Master by reading Stoppable's essence." Kim didn't respond. She was completely over the feud Ron had with Monkey Fist. She never wanted to hear or see another monkey in her life. Being turned into one cemented that.

The trio then proceeded to look at the reviews Drakken's story had received.

ONEEYEDPIRATE: I don't think cooking twine will do the trick in this instance. I would suggest something sturdier like a tie, or a belt for the more hard-core type of play.

"Is that the one-eyed witch reviewing Drakken? Is she into bondage? WTF!" demanded Shego. "I didn't need to know that. That's it! Kimmie, the handcuffs are going!"

"Perhaps. Or Betty is being polite," said the elder Possible, ignoring most of Shego's outburst.

"No wonder she hasn't been busting our chops for being behind schedule. She knows exactly what Drakken has been up to," said Shego.

"It appears that way. Think of it from her point of view. It is better to have Drakken behind schedule and writing, than to have him trying to take over the world. The cost savings would be just too great for Global Justice to ignore," said Anne, whose business experience was showing.

"I suppose," said Shego unhappily.

Kim knew that Shego was obviously not thrilled at being considered as a cost saving and Drakken's minder. She tried to distract her girlfriend with another review. "That one looks familiar too."

GUITARSWEETRIDE: Nice to see you doing something useful, cuz. Next time less Aunt Estelle and more green babe.

"Oooh, that's totally gross!" said Shego. "I can't think of anything worse than Mullet Man pulling his ponytail over me. Yuck, yuck, yuck. He's totally gross. Actually, I think I need a shower. Do you mind, Anne?"

"No, feel free. Reading this makes me feel the same way."

With that Shego walked out of the kitchen making her way to the Possible bathroom. On her return, the green beauty stood and addressed the two Possible women.

"Ladies, you know what we have to do, don't you? We have to write our own and post it. I think I know the perfect way to do it. Two can play at this game. Wade needs to have some cum and raspberry jello in his hair. Maybe something more industrial, that takes a few days to find on the Internet and to then remove."

Shego paused, deep in thought. "Maybe we could write a story that goes something like...

 _Once upon a time, there lived a middle aged blue troll named Drakken that lived underground with his mom. She was an annoying and ugly old troll that had a voice that could strip wallpaper. She held her son's testicles in a vice. She added a new definition to the expression blue balls. Drakken had no friends because his mom didn't let him out to play as a child. He had a personality disorder that made him rather crazy, enough to drop out of college. He wanted to rule the world so he could have anyone he desired. What he desired most were teenage boy trolls. Until he could get what he wanted on tap, Drakken would have to do all the work._

 _Drakken would tell his mother he liked taking long walks. He wore his blue coat and walked along paths knowing where teenage trolls would frequent. He liked them young, the pimplier and hornier, the better. The young trolls would not give him lip. Well not the kind he detested, the kind where he was constantly mocked by a certain redheaded teenage cheerleader troll._

 _Drakken almost wet himself when one day he heard along the grapevine a young blue troll named Zorpox, or Ron to his friends and his genius brother named Fat Wade had moved into the neighbourhood. According to gossip Zorpox had a strange looking pet named Rufus. Drakken was eager to meet his new neighbours. Fresh meat was exactly what he needed or even a stuffed naked mole rat than looked very much like a fat penis with teeth..."_

Shego stopped composing when she heard Anne laugh and Kim comment "Oh, that's so gay!"

"I know, right?" Said Shego with an evil look on her green face.

"So, are you with me, ladies? All for one, one for all?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," said Anne.

"Definitely! Shego, I don't want to be a wet blanket but we don't know anything about writing gay sex. I have never been with a man."

"I haven't either, Princess, but Anne has, and she's a doctor. Besides, it didn't stop them from writing really bad, and I mean really bad, anatomically incorrect lesbian sex. We have a middle aged virgin who can't cut the apron strings, a virgin genius agoraphobic, and Stoppable who probably has had sex but doesn't know the first thing about women or where to find a clit, writing about us. Surely, we can do a better job and get more reviews in the process.

"Let's get perverse enjoyment out of the fact men get squeamish about gay sex. They love the lady on lady action but turn the spotlight onto them, show them what their dangly bits can actually penetrate, or where to find the male G-Spot... They suddenly get very hysterical. For the life of me I can not get how a watching or participating in a football gangbang is not gay."

Shego paused, took a breath before continuing, "Enough venting. It is time for action. I for one can't wait to turn up the heat, Shego style. So, who is in?"

Shego put out her hand. Anne and Kim covered Shego's wrist with their own. The three wrists bounced up and down a few times before they released their hands. They were now in it together.

"So what shall we name ourselves," asked Kim.

"Who can type the fastest?" demanded Shego at the same time.

"I think with all the reports I've had to do over the years, that would be me. In regards to the name, how about the 'Lipsticklasersquirts'?" suggested the healer.

The room erupted into laughter. The three women were clutching their sides in pain. This time it was Kim who had the tears rolling down her face. She hadn't had so much fun with her mom and girlfriend in like... Never. It was not the bonding afternoon she had planned to spend with her mother, but in a weird way, she was grateful. Now, how to get her revenge? She needed to imagine how gay boys got their jollies and give it a KiGo twist.

 _ **A/N: Sorry, I really, really hate editing.**_

 _ **A big thanks to LJ58 and Dr Tom of Bostonia for their support and delicious input, and to InariNineTails and BrazilNut for the push. Also, to Drifter - I hope I delivered. Thanks for the support.**_

 _ **And finally to the reader who thought this story about them ... If the shoe fits ...**_


End file.
